Amazon and hurricane Dorian

I live in Florida and by Monday hurricane Dorian is supposed to make landfall very close to me.

Everyone is scrambling for supplies.

I must have bread! Water! Who has water? Publix sold out! Walmart? Well…you could still be in line for water as the hurricane passes…

Me? I ordered supplies from Amazon.

Just my latest contribution to global warming.



Amazon prime and global warming

I know that the world has been convinced that global warming has been caused by my overuse of Aqua-net hairspray in the 80’s, the farts of California cows and my Hemi engine, but that’s not the cause. Any of them.

Th real cause of global warming is Amazon Prime.

How do I know?

Well, first, I need to let everyone know that I am not a scientist – nor did I stay at a Holiday Inn Express last night, so I may not have all of my facts exactly right…

We moved recently. We are downsizing as all of the kids have left the nest..well….almost (hint..hint..).

We recently sold the house we had lived in for almost 11 years – the longest I have lived anywhere in my life.  This house was just shy of 4000 sq. ft. and have moved into a smaller house of right at 1800 sq. ft.

To give you an idea :



We now have a house and two storage units.

In order to make this small house work, we have needed to order A LOT from Amazon (cause face it, we all know Wal-Mart doesn’t carry everything – especially customer service. Who has time to stand an hour in line for a box of q-tips and a bathroom shelf).

We have ordered shelves to go on the backs of pantry door and the linen closet, organizers, etc.  We have had at least one delivery a day for the past month.

However, they also have same day delivery on things.

Here’s where global warming comes into play:

At 9 or so Sunday morning, I realized we needed q-tips. So I ordered q-tips. By 6 pm that day, I had q-ips. Around 11 or so on the same day, I realized we needed to restock toilet paper. POOF! By 6 pm we had a box of toilet paper! Two different deliveries.

We needed comforters, bunkie boards, a wall mount for the tv and a shower curtain. Every. single. item. came in a separate delivery.

Today I have paper towels coming. I also have laundry detergent coming- in a separate delivery because I ordered them at two different times of day.

Tomorrow I have a blade for the edger, 409 and baby wipes.

All in separate deliveries.

I have no idea why their computers don’t get all of the orders and say Hey! These are all going to the same place, why don’t we put them all on the same truck and save on gas and time?

Global Waring people.

Leave the cows and their farts alone. Let the old ladies use their aqua net and if I want to drive a car with an engine the size of a cessna, well…

Thank God for you…

As a co-worker asked me the other day if I closed that night –

“does the day end in ‘Y’? ”

Realized that – I go to work, I come home, I got to sleep, I get up go to work…  (no, there isn’t much in between watching tv, cooking, cleaning or laundry in between – I close – I work until 2 a.m. or so, and sleep all day until the next shift starts.

As I realized this…I began thinking about how much I HATE IT!  Never really seeing my family – I think Goose has grown 2 inches since I last had a chance to hold a conversation with him – and he is 18.  The Man? I usually get in so late  that I don’t want to wake him, so I sleep on the sofa.

Now, don’t get me wrong – my co-workers are AMAZING. I love working for them and with them.

I mentioned the promotion I got, right? Cool. I like it for the most part – still not sure why they think I can do this job, but to quote Joe Walsh “If you just act like you know what you are doing, everybody thinks that you do..”

During this time, I got to thinking – I HATE this. Go to work, come home, go to work…

Then it dawned on  me – I haven’t been doing this for that long, – this working because I need to thing – at least not since I have been married.

The Man – has been doing this FOREVER – for 22 years he gets up for work at 5 a.m., works 8-10 hour day, comes home, has dinner, goes to bed – and starts the same thing all over again the next day. Actually, more than 20 years – he was married to his practice wife ( what I call her, among other, not so nice names) for 10 years. So, for About 30 years he has done this. And has never complained. He does it to take care of me and our family.

I don’t think he knows – could ever really know – how thankful I am for him and all he does. EVER.

Not everyone is as blessed as I have been.

Thank you honey.

I love you.