Category Archives: Justin

There Goes My Life..


As I  went to insert the song into this post, I discovered that WordPress has gone up – WAY UP – in the price of their service that includes adding music to your posts. So, I am having to wiggle around it until I find a new host who does NOT charge an outrageous price – or find a CSS writing class and start my own.

ANY-who. That is the explanation for the odd link to the music today.

I don’t know if you have realized it or not, but I love music. Even more than music, country music. Even more than country music – Kenny Chesney!

But..that is not really the point here.

I have a song for everything! Really! Give me a day, a person, a thing, a place – I have a song for it. I dare you – I double dog dare you!  There is a comment section – do it!

Again, though, not the point…

My song for Justin – My Dork – is – surprise, surprise – a Kenny Chesney song, the one above,  “There Goes My Life”.

I have told the story before of how The Dork saved me… and well…about a month ago, not only did he ask his beautiful girlfriend Maggie May (not really her name) and her baby boy Axle Rose (only half is his real name) to marry him, but he took a job in Louisiana and well….

THERE GOES MY LIFE…

(This part of it, anyway… we still have Goose for 2 1/2 more years before the Air Force gets him…)

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Spilled milk


Was checking out Scary Mommy  this morning and came across this:

http://www.scarymommy.com/8-chores-pawn-off-kids

Hmmm…..

While my mother when we were young did EVERYTHING for us – she was a perfectionist. She mopped the floors daily, there was never a speck of dust and the only time laundry built up was when we didn’t have a washer/dryer. As we got older, she began to work 2 jobs and needed to get her teens to help on a regular basis, not just as a punishment (and believe me – we learned from the older sister – she stayed in trouble and washed dishes every night – and no dishwasher – if mom found even a SPEC on them, she had to wash them all over again)

So, we did.

And then we had children. My sis and I went TOTALLY opposite directions – while she was the lazy one – she made sure her children did chores – they were washing dishes by 10. OH! Wait…NOW I get it!

I, on the other hand, spoiled my oldest (Dork) rotten (to the point that when he joined the Marines we all just knew he was going to stay raking rocks and digging holes his entire tour) – so, he never really learned to do anything – even putting away clothes.

I always figured that, if I allowed him to pour his own milk, and then he spilled it, not only would I have to pour it anyway, I would also have to clean up the mess. So I just poured it.

7 years later, I had my second son (Goose) – and I no longer cried over spilled milk. – Ok, not exactly true, it took me until he was 12 and I still do not make him do the amount of chores I think he should, but, I am ‘teaching’ him more than I taught the Dork. At 15 he can cut the grass, cook (and I didn’t learn how to do that until my husband and I moved in together- when I was 23), use the washer (the Marine didn’t even know HOW to use the washer until after he joined) ….

I did find it HYSTERICAL when after his 3rd year in, LCPL Dork came home, went into Goose’s bathroom – and brought him 409 and a scrub brush. Told him his bathroom was disgusting and he was going to go clean it immediately.

By the way…guess who is cleaning his bathroom today? I guess I haven’t learned as much as I thought….

– See more at: http://www.scarymommy.com/8-chores-pawn-off-kids/comment-page-2/#comment-933387

ADHD in a nutshell…


Someone shared this one Facecrack the other day and I found it so perfect – I had to share it here…. this is ME in a nutshell – LOOK! SQUIRREL!!

SQUIRREL!

My arch enemy…the squirrel!

ADHD is about having broken filters on your perception.

Normal people have a sort of mental secretary that takes the 99% of irrelevant crap that crosses their mind, and simply deletes it before they become consciously aware of it. As such, their mental workspace is like a huge clean whiteboard, ready to hold and organize useful information.

ADHD people… have no such luxury. Every single thing that comes in the front door gets written directly on the whiteboard in bold, underlined red letters, no matter what it is, and no matter what has to be erased in order for it to fit.

As such, if we’re in the middle of some particularly important mental task, and our eye should happen to light upon… a doorknob, for instance, it’s like someone burst into the room, clad in pink feathers and heralded by trumpets, screaming HEY LOOK EVERYONE, IT’S A DOORKNOB! LOOK AT IT! LOOK! IT OPENS THE DOOR IF YOU TURN IT! ISN’T THAT NEAT? I WONDER HOW THAT ACTUALLY WORKS DO YOU SUPPOSE THERE’S A CAM OR WHAT? MAYBE ITS SOME KIND OF SPRING WINCH AFFAIR ALTHOUGH THAT SEEMS KIND OF UNWORKABLE.

It’s like living in a soft rain of post-it notes.

This happens every single waking moment, and we have to manually examine each thought, check for relevance, and try desperately to remember what the thing was we were thinking before it came along, if not. Most often we forget, and if we aren’t caught up in the intricacies of doorknob engineering, we cast wildly about for context, trying to guess what the hell we were up to from the clues available.

On the other hand, we’re extremely good at working out the context of random remarks, as we’re effectively doing that all the time anyway.

We rely heavily on routine, and 90% of the time get by on autopilot. You can’t get distracted from a sufficiently ingrained habit, no matter what useless crap is going on inside your head… unless someone goes and actually disrupts your routine. I’ve actually been distracted out of taking my lunch to work, on several occasions, by my wife reminding me to take my lunch to work. What the? Who? Oh, yeah, will do. Where was I? um… briefcase! Got it. Now keys.. okay, see you honey!

Also, there’s a diminishing-returns thing going on when trying to concentrate on what you might call a non-interactive task. Entering a big block of numbers into a spreadsheet, for instance. Keeping focused on the task takes exponentially more effort each minute, for less and less result. If you’ve ever held a brick out at arm’s length for an extended period, you’ll know the feeling. That’s why the internet, for instance, is like crack to us – it’s a non-stop influx of constantly-new things, so we can flick from one to the next after only seconds. Its better/worse than pistachios.

The exception to this is a thing we get called hyper focus. Occasionally, when something just clicks with us, we can get ridiculously deeply drawn into it, and NOTHING can distract us. We’ve locked our metaphorical office door, and we’re not coming out for anything short of a tornado.

Medication takes the edge off. It reduces the input, it tones down the fluster, it makes it easier to ignore trivial stuff, and it increases the maximum focus-time. Imagine steadicam for your skull. It also happens to make my vision go a little weird and loomy occasionally, and can reduce appetite a bit.

Hope this helps and please do share this so that more people can learn what its really like to have ADHD.