Tag Archives: life lessons

Family Time..


Just isn’t what it used to be…

I am a waitress. Have been for, well, a very long time. 

A few days ago, a mom came in with her boys – about 10 or 11 years old. They ordered their drinks and she asked if we had a drink menu, she needed alcohol.

I could relate – I mean, I do have two children after all…

I looked at the boys and grinned –

“Ok guys – what did you do?”

Mom- Them? Not a thing – this is the best part of my day.

I was thrilled to hear that.  It has been such a long time since I have seen a family out to dinner really interacting with each other. It is a very rare sight.

People come in with their children, of all ages. They immediately set up a tablet with cartoons or something for the toddler to watch. The 6-year-old or so is given one to play games on and the tweens and teens are staring at their phones – Facebook, snapchat whatever it is these days.Then the adults pull out their phones. They stare at their phones or call someone and talk to anyone but their family. 

Aside from the pain in the ass this is for a server – 

“Hi, how are you guys doing today?”

((( crickets)))  

“Can I get you all something to drink?”

(((crickets)))

It’s crazy. 

When I was a mom to younger children, we all talked. We used the crayons and that activity sheet/ kids menu all restaurants seem to have. We begged the toddler not to throw his pacifier on the floor again. We laughed at the faces made by the 3-year-old when we gave him a lemon.

 Now? Parents don’t even realize that the kids menu is on that paper. The crayons don’t get opened. The paper ends up on the floor. The child throws his pacifier on the floor and no one notices. 

When did this happen? 

The DirectTv commercials…cell phone companies – they offer the ability to “take your tv with you” and show families camping ..sitting around a fire with their tablets and phones watching television. Why even bother going anywhere? Isn’t the point of going somewhere to do something different?

I have quit taking my phone into the restaurant when we go to dinner. There is nothing going on that I need to interrupt my family time for. There is no one I can not call back in 30 minutes when I am finished eating. 

I wish everyone would. I am tired of trying to talk to people who can’t look up from their phones… or talk mumble while looking down at their phone and expect me to hear them. 

This is the modern family –

I do realize that all families are not like this – I wish none of them were. 

Advertisements

Dr. Phil and 30 Reasons girls should call it a night


As there isn’t much on t.v. at 6 in the morning, I started watching an episode of Dr. Phil. As he interviews a 20 – something girl  who moderates the Facebook page ” 30 Reasons Girls Should Call it a Night”.
This Facebook page is for girls to post pictures of themselves  – yes – they post them – during (or after) a night of partying way past time that they should have called it a night. Calling it a night before their heads were in the toilet vomiting. Before they were flashing their chest for the cameras. Before they were passed out on the floor and her so called friends were drawing obscene pictures on her body with a sharpie.
He has pictures from this page – again these girls have posted these pictures themselves – scrolling on a screen behind the stage. He gets to one of the moderator and stops.
Dr. – This is you, correct? (the picture shows her two fisted drinking – both beer bottles at her mouth as well) 
D.A.G. (Dumb Ass Girl) – yes
Dr. – there is another one of you throwing up that you don’t want us to show, so we are not  – but why not? If it’s already on the page and you posted it…
(good question Phil)
D.A.G. – because that’s on Facebook, the internet, not t.v. – where anyone with an antennae can see it…
Dr. Phil –  (shaking his head while audience laughs, thinking, I’m sure – she can’t really be this stupid)
Yes, doc, she is.
She says this page is the start of a movement for equality. 
Whhhaaaaaaaaaa?
That men go out drinking in bars, they are expected to get into fights and it’s all cool, it’s considered male bonding. ( Um, huh?) 
“It’s still visible that women do not have equal opportunities as men” 
Whhaaaaa?
So how is this –

Going to get me equal rights? How is having pictures like these –  

or this –

drunk3

Going to help me be treated equal to anyone? 

“Women should be able to express their rights not just in the workplace but socially…there shouldn’t be a double standard.”

” This isn’t just each girl, it’s for women as a whole”

I’m ok with a double standard here – I do not want to be held as an equal to some D.A.G. or Guy who believes this is acceptable ..

Don’t include ME in your “women as a whole” .

(Before the people who know me think I am being hypocritical – yes. I have knelt before the porcelain throne, I have passed out….a couple times even as an adult – a few more than I would like to admit or ever thought I would as an adult – doesn’t mean I want pictures of myself in these situations TAKEN let alone posted on line for the world to see. I have learned my lesson, I hope, and believe me, these lessons were hard.)

 

There are so many who don’t realize that the internet is forever. You can delete it, but there is, somewhere, a record of it. There is someone who saw the picture…the post… copied it and decided to make a meme out of it and now – LOOK! There you are on some bored housewives blog about drunk girls… where do you think I got these pictures? I copied them from the internet.

I admit, I do have pictures of myself out with friends and a beer or some sort of drink in my hand on Facebook, so I am not completely innocent in this. However, I would hope that a potential employer, etc. would not equate a beer in my hand the same as he would a picture of me drunk and throwing up in the bathroom of the local Three Dollar. I hope. 

Before they put this kind of thing out there…I wish they would think – do I want my preacher to see this? My teachers? My mom? My father? My children?

I am so thankful that my children do not do this… 

 

 

 

Spilled milk


Was checking out Scary Mommy  this morning and came across this:

http://www.scarymommy.com/8-chores-pawn-off-kids

Hmmm…..

While my mother when we were young did EVERYTHING for us – she was a perfectionist. She mopped the floors daily, there was never a speck of dust and the only time laundry built up was when we didn’t have a washer/dryer. As we got older, she began to work 2 jobs and needed to get her teens to help on a regular basis, not just as a punishment (and believe me – we learned from the older sister – she stayed in trouble and washed dishes every night – and no dishwasher – if mom found even a SPEC on them, she had to wash them all over again)

So, we did.

And then we had children. My sis and I went TOTALLY opposite directions – while she was the lazy one – she made sure her children did chores – they were washing dishes by 10. OH! Wait…NOW I get it!

I, on the other hand, spoiled my oldest (Dork) rotten (to the point that when he joined the Marines we all just knew he was going to stay raking rocks and digging holes his entire tour) – so, he never really learned to do anything – even putting away clothes.

I always figured that, if I allowed him to pour his own milk, and then he spilled it, not only would I have to pour it anyway, I would also have to clean up the mess. So I just poured it.

7 years later, I had my second son (Goose) – and I no longer cried over spilled milk. – Ok, not exactly true, it took me until he was 12 and I still do not make him do the amount of chores I think he should, but, I am ‘teaching’ him more than I taught the Dork. At 15 he can cut the grass, cook (and I didn’t learn how to do that until my husband and I moved in together- when I was 23), use the washer (the Marine didn’t even know HOW to use the washer until after he joined) ….

I did find it HYSTERICAL when after his 3rd year in, LCPL Dork came home, went into Goose’s bathroom – and brought him 409 and a scrub brush. Told him his bathroom was disgusting and he was going to go clean it immediately.

By the way…guess who is cleaning his bathroom today? I guess I haven’t learned as much as I thought….

– See more at: http://www.scarymommy.com/8-chores-pawn-off-kids/comment-page-2/#comment-933387