But she’s my mom…

(Very to the point here or this could go on and on…Reader’s Digest version, so to speak)


Her health had been much better for a while, after going into the nursing facility.

Not now. She has been in and out of the hospital throughout her time there, more and more as time goes on.

Beginning last November, she has been in and out of the hospital averaging every two weeks, for pneumonia.

We had gone to get a pedicure and she was fine, better than in a while, as a matter of fact- or so I thought. That evening, she was rushed to the ER. Pneumonia – again.  They did a bronchial lavage. They found spots on her lung. The doctor said probably cancer, but her health puts her at a point where there would be no point to treat it. They did other tests and found a spot on her colon. It is most likely an ulcer. Again – nothing to be done.

She had been in the hospital the beginning of October, and was in rehab at the nursing home. The day before the pedicure, she had scratched her foot on the pedal of the exercise bike. Was no bigger than a cat scratch. Three days later, her foot was blood red and twice it’s size. The scratch had gotten infected. She had to have surgery to remove the infection. It was quite scary, and is still healing now, 2 weeks until Easter.

She was released right before Thanksgiving and was in isolation for MRSA, which she had had before, and probably got again this time from the foot infection.Thanksgiving dinner was spent with her in the isolation room, in gowns, face masks and gloves. Much fun.

She was released back to her room, and two weeks later, back in hospital. Same routine until about the middle a February, the worst case yet. There was a day that I truly thought she was going to die. Then the next day – back to her normal self. That’s my mom…The next day, she was diagnosed with C DiFF, and back into isolation she went. Finally released back to nursing facility, and this time, while still isolated, they moved her room mate out so she could be in her own room.

Throughout this last stay, she made the decision to allow hospice to take over her care in the nursing home, and to not treat the pneumonia if it comes back. No more antibiotics or emergency room visits. No hospital stays. If she gets ill again, hospice takes the place of the hospital, she moves to their facility until she either gets better, or passes.

I understand, but am still not sure how I feel about it.She has finally gone blind, so there is that. I know she is tired of the pain. She is tired of depending on others for everything. I know she is tired of being sick. Tired of all the hospital stays. Tired of all the poking and prodding she goes through with each stay. To be honest, so am I. I hate seeing her sick and in pain.

But she’s my mom.





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