Bending over backwards..

I totally wish I could..oh, wait – I do. Daily – for my mother.

(another rant about my mom..sorry guys..gotta get it off my chest!)

I don’t go “out” – unless I can leave after I fix her dinner and be home before 8:00 p.m., I don’t go. Last night, we were going to dinner at the beach with LCPL Dork and his friend who are here for the July 4th holiday. Before we left, Dork had to go to the store for some soup (because of course, in the 4 cabinets,refrigerator  and pantry full of food – there was nothing she wanted to eat..) and I cooked a grilled cheese and soup for her. The last thing she says to me as we leave was “You will be home to do my drops, right?” Yes. Mother.

As we took two cars, Dork could have driven Goose home and The Man and I could have gone out. The operative word there – could. I knew that if I was not home she would start calling. We got back to the car and she already called twice. I was only gone 2 1/2 hours.

I plan meals around her and what she would like to eat. I would NEVER do that for the kids – ever. Eat what I cook or fix something for yourself – or go hungry. No, I only cook things she will eat. We even have meatloaf once a week cause she asks.

I have not been able to return to work because I have to take her to the doctor every other day, and of course, there are those damn eye drops.

But – as she fixed her cereal this morning –

” I hate this milk.”  (The Man has asked that I buy 2% milk ..)

Why, it tastes the same ..

“No, it doesn’t..”

I really wanted to get up and pour it over her head.

We had a conversation about this the other day and The Man doesn’t ask for much – and if he wants freaking 2% milk, by golly, he can have it.

“He doesn’t really use milk all the much though…”



2 responses to “Bending over backwards..

  1. Thanks for the advice..I do vent here and facecrack but not to her..I grit my teeth and smile…because, I do realize, as bat shit crazy as she makes me…when she is gone..I will miss her more than anything…

  2. I remember the frustration, I took care of my Mom too. I had to fly to CA to do it, at great expense over a 3 year period. I would spend 3 or 4 weeks w/ her and Dad (trying to give him a break from the dialysis trips 30 minutes each way) then come home for a week or two and then repeat. The lengths of stay would grow longer like when she broke her pelvis and then again her hip. It was alot of work and I missed alot of experiences at home with my husband and grandkids. But I had my some great talks with my Mom and some special moments. My other siblings who didn’t help much didn’t get those moments. I worked my ass off cooking and cleaning and making sure she had everything she wanted. After she died, Dad took a steep nose dive and was unable to care for himself within 9 months. My CA living brother wouldn’t take him in, so we flew to CA and brought him here to live with us. We cared for him until he died about 4 months later. The point of this story is that today is all you have. Chances are good that she’ll be gone by tomorrow. Take some time to enjoy the fact that you have a mother. Make a point of enjoying your time with her and you might find that she becomes more enjoyable to be around. She probably feels insecure because she knows you are resenting her. She’s clinging to you because she’s not really sure you are coming back. But her fears to rest and let her enjoy what time she has left on this earth as your mother. You have years to live your life. Be patient and vent here and not with her.

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