Everything happens for a reason…



A week or so ago, a friend, Andy, posted on Facecrack that he used to live believing in the idea that everything happens for a reason, fate, destiny or whatever else you may want to call it, but no longer thought that this was true. I have been trying to find time ever since to “talk” to him about this and FINALLY I have the computer for longer than 5 minutes!

I disagree. While yes, we do have free will, I believe that it is true that everything happens for a reason. That while most things in our life are our choice, I think that God has a plan for us all and that is where we end up.

I mean, really? How many people meat their soul mates in the doctors office? Me and mine did! I think it was most definitely God’s plan – my insurance had just dropped my previous doctor, so I had to start a new on e and BAM! Here I was…I knew the second I saw him I was going to marry him. I year and a half later, I married my best friend. 17 years, 8 states and an extra kid later..here we are..against all who said that we would never work.

Speaking of the extra kid. We never planned on having any more children. I came to him as a ready made family with my son, Justin (LCPL Dork) and we were very happy family with the 3 of us. We had been told that with some of the meds we both took, that children were probably not in our future and that was a-ok.

Then..one day, 6 tests later… I realized we were pregnant. Very excited we were until I miscarried. We were sad, but not devastated (ok I was, I had to go for ultrasounds every other day – I won’t make you sad with the details). But we had decided that we were ok just the three of us and we still were. We were told to wait 6 weeks ..to get..umm..busy..again, but to not get pregnant again for 3 months. No worries, as we thought it was a fluke for me to be pregnant the one time.

7 weeks later, I was in the doctors office on the receiving end of a lecture..this is not 3 months.

9 moths later, they cut an 8 lb 14 oz baby boy out of me – the day after we moved into our first owned home.

See, we do make some plans, but God makes some plans too. I tell everyone this story this way.. God took a day off and I got pregnant. He came back and the angels had given us a girl – God said – WHAT ARE YOU THINKING??? She can’t have a girl!!! She’s already crazy! – and he took her back. The next chance he had, he gave us a son. (Thank you God, btw!)

We have choices. I could have just said Hello to Reese and gone back to the loosers I had been choosing for my self all along..or do what I did, gone to him as I felt fate was telling me to do. I could have gone back on the pill to be sure we didn’t have another baby, but I suppose deep down we wanted one and God must have certainly wanted us to have one, giving us one the very first time we had sex …

There are so many things I question..my car accident..how did I live? Why did I live? What is my purpose here? Maybe one of my children will save the world…who knows. I will probably never know.

Why is it  the burden on taking care of my mom falls on me? I know it is the families responsibility to take care of each other, but I have many relatives..why all on me? Is this a choice I make or God’s plan? Both? I probably will never know..maybe this is my penance..

So, Andy, I think we are both right. I think that the choices we make, if they are the right ones, lead us to were God wants us to be..

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2 responses to “Everything happens for a reason…

  1. When all is said and done, it doesn’t really matter why it falls to you to care for your mother. What does matter is that you do the best job you are capable of on any given day, knowing in your heart, that the days are short and every memory you make will be precious. I’ve been in that position, my sisters are professional caregivers yet it fell to me to do the end of life care for my mom and for my dad. Looking back, I feel a little sad for them, they got gyped of some great times and I have memories that they will never share. Yes, it was a ton of work, alot of expense going back and forth to California month after month for years and then with my Dad we needed to move him in with us here in Florida. But I wouldn’t change a thing looking back.

    • Thank you so much Sandra for the support. It is difficult and I do remind myself often that I really am fortunate to have this time. I did not have it with my father, we lived out of state and his death, while not sudden, did happen sooner than I thought. He was given three months and he was an ornery man – and I assumed he would beat the odds because he was so ornery! Mom, on the other hand, was given 6 months to a year 8 years ago! I do credit my sister.. she was his chauffeur the last 3 months of his life, three times a week to dialysis. I just remember – all I can do is take everything one day at a time. Hope you made it through your surgery with flying colors! Good luck with the new grandbaby!

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