I have always thought that it was a bit morbid to already have plans for my funeral thought out, yet in conversations lately, I have discovered that others have given some thought to this as well. Maybe not to the extremes I have, but some thought.
I do not “do” funerals. I can’t. I am not mentally capable of it. Most people who know me know this. I tried to go to my dad’s. Made it long enough to sit in the chair grave side and then I was gone. My mom knows I will not go to her funeral. She understands. However, I am hoping that my plans for my funeral can help my friends and family get through my passing with as much peace as possible.
I joke about the services being held at midnight – you know who your true friends are if they will go to a cemetery at midnight! Ha! I’ll be dead – I won’t know who’s there!
When we go to funerals, everyone wears black, and cries and they play sappy, depressing music. Don’t cry for me – I’m dead. Obviously (hopefully) I was sick for a while and now, well, I am not. That’s a GOOD thing! Hey – be happy you don’t have to see me suffering. If it was an accident that is the cause of my death, well…I am still heading to a better place, so really, don’t cry. You’ll see me again – well, except for the select few who have been naughty…and well, maybe you will still will depending how tight the grading curve is..so keep my pictures out and remember me. I’ll be around.
I want everyone to wear bright colors. I want to be buried in blue jean shorts and a t-shirt, maybe one that says “Wow! That was fun!” and of course, white Keds. I want the music upbeat. Ready? I want “Don’t Worry, Be Happy” and Israel Kamakawiwo Ole’ version of ” Somewhere Over The Rainbow ” ..some Kenny Chesney (I know, surprising, right?) and of course, there is a song by Joe Diffie – kind of corny, but fitting for a funeral like mine – “Prop Me Up Beside the Jukebox When I Die”.
I want everyone to share FUNNY stories about me. And there are plenty. I am a klutz! I have been drunk too many times, kneeling before porcelain Gods in the bar of choice for the night.
And before everyone goes home, you must toast each other (with apple martini’s of course), and remind yourselves how much I loved you all, and how I hate when everyone keeps secrets. Always be open and honest with each other, if you are mad at someone – TELL THEM. They don’t know if you don’t. If you love someone – TELL THEM – they don’t know if you don’t. Live life to its fullest. Take chances. Learn something new everyday. Don’t go to bed angry. Always let “I love you” be the last thing you say to those you do when you part, even if it just for the day, or bed time, cause you never know when it will be the last time.
Oh – one last thing – you are all invited to my funeral. You know who you are!
A side note: if I die within two weeks of a holiday, or April 3, I am to be frozen and the funeral held after. I would hate for a holiday to be a reminder of my death, and April 3? Well, that is my little sister’s birthday and she has had many family members die too close to her birthday. So, if you don’t hear from me..