Happy Birthday to me – 2008

Today is January 28, 2008, the day before the 10th anniverary of my 25th birthday..ok, ok – I will be 35 tomorrow. I have been in age denial for a while – I have told people how old I am and they always say “really? you don’t look it”  ok- first – yeah right! Everyone says that – one of those make you feel good white lies … second- huh? what is 34 (35) supposed to look like?

When I was little, I wanted to be a teacher. I think most little girls go through that phase.When I was older, I wanted to be a doctor, then a physical therapist. I always assumed I would get married, but never on my list of things I want to be when I grow up was a stay at home mom.

I didn’t really like kids. I didn’t like teenagers – even when I was one. My mom and I were talking the other day about the fact that I never really liked to play. I was a little grown up long before I should have been, I suppose.

I never wanted to learn to cook – I still can not touch raw meat- the kids think it is funny to see me put on gloves to mix up meatloaf! I got lucky finding a man who’s favorite food is spaghetti, because that is one of the few things I could cook – we ate it at least twice a week the first year we were together.

I had plans to join the navy, go to college and have a career, a cook, a maid and be the greatest aunt ever. Well, God and life had other plans.I had to grow up kinda fast. Mom and Dad worked very hard, but some health issues got in the way and I started working around 15 to help out. I don’t wish it any other way- it made me a much better person, I think.

I think part of the reason I never wanted kids or to be a stay at home mom (housewife is just not a word I am willing to use) is that I saw my mother work so hard and receive so little appreciation for it. We all know how kids are. The world revolves around them and the adults that live in it are there mearly to serve. My parents worked very very hard. My dad worked construction when it was 110 degrees in the shade and drove a dump truck when it was 5 degrees and raining, often with holes in his shoes and barely a coat. Mom worked 2 jobs and still kept the house spotless, the laundry caught up and cooked dinner most nights. I did not want to be that way – not the hard working part- but the unappreciated part.

Now, Justin is 15 years old and Little Reese is 8. I have a wonderful husband, Reese, am a stay at home mom, with a dog, a cat and looking forward to baseball starting so I can be team mom again ? ?….  I wouldn’t have it any other way!

I realized recently that yes, the world does revolve around the kids (SHHHH- don’t tell them) it is supposed to. No, they don’t appreciate all that we do for them, just as we did not appreciate all our parents did for us when we were younger. We gain that appreciation later in life, sometimes earlier, hopefully in time to tell them before it is too late. Sometimes not till much later, then you have to pray and hope that they hear you and know that you do.

My dad and I share January 29th as our birthday. He would have been 69 tomorrow. I never got the chance to tell him, but I sure hope he knew…

ok.. ok…  enough sappy stuff… on to other sappy stuff!!

About 2 years ago Little Reese started asking questions about my dad. He died about two years before Little Reese was born, so he doesn’t know much about him. As the questions started, I realized that I don’t really know much about him. I found that kind of sad. I was 25 when my dad died and I don’t know much about him. What he wanted to be when he grew up… who his favorite ball player was? I don’t know anything about his childhood, school years… what kind of car was his first car? His favorite music? He was in the army and I don’t know what his rank was.

So I decided then that I wanted to find out little things about the members of our families. I come from a very large family, at least on my mothers side and my husband has quite a few relatives as well. Everyone remembers the ‘bad’ stuff – the broken bones, the car accidents, divorces, deaths…I wanted to know some good things, just a small memory from everyone in the family so that I could have a record – a sort of family tree – how are we all related and something nice to remember about you. Not too hard, right?     LIKE PULLING TEETH!!!!! I have had so much fun doing this. I know that this little project of mine isn’t a big deal to anyone else, but it is to me. I come from such a large family, one that used to be very very close and now has grown apart through the years, I would like for my kids to know something about the family that I knew. My husband has family that I have never met that I would love to know about, and I am sure that Little Reese would like to know about one day.

Sure, the bad things are easier to remember, but I can’t imagine that anyone’s life is SO BAD that there  is not at least one happy thing there – the birth of a child,the day you were married, the day you met your spouse.. was it love at first sight? How did he propose? Did she say yes right away?

I mailed out  75 “questionares” between my family and my husband family – I have received 6 back.

That makes me sad.

…..But, the sun is out today and there is a little snow on the ground..I am alive and well, my kids are happy and my dog wants to go outside to play. Who could really ask for more?


One response to “Happy Birthday to me – 2008

  1. Pingback: The Pessimistic Optimist « The random thoughts of a chaotic mind

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