Thursday was yet another day of monotany for me.. a trip to the grocery store for a gallon of milk ,a box of cereal and walking around the store trying to decide on something to fix for dinner.
While sitting at a traffic light on the way home, Reba McEntire’s song “Is There Life Out There?” plays on the radio, and I wonder, is there?
“There’s a place in the sun where she’s never been, where life is fair and time is a friend..
“She’s done what she should, should she do what she dares..she doesn’t want to leave she just wonders if there’s life out there..”
I am very happy with my life and I wouldn’t trade it for the world. We are finally as financially secure as we can be with the economy the way it is – the American dream, I suppose. A house, two kids, dog and a cat in smalltown, USA. But sometimes, and I suppose more often these days for some reason, I would like to be more than June Cleaver.
I had always wanted to be a doctor, but life decided that I wasn’t meant to do that, and that is o.k. , but I want more than I am. When I set up my website, the profile page asks about me. About me..? Hmm…
Now that we are somewhat financially secure, I would love to go back to school. I have consdered many different options, from psychology to photography to dog training. Unfortunately, we are in this constant phase of transition, we always seem to be getting ready to move. We have been here for four years now, and while I would be o.k. to stay here a couple of years longer, I know my husband has to get out of here soon. He really hates it here.
So, I’ll wait a little longer to go back to school. Wait and wait, because I am sure any sort of move will come with a couple years of adjustment that will make it very difficult for me to do anything but be June Cleaver again, and then of course, Justin graduates in two years, so financially secure will head out the window again.
I think I want something that is all me. If you ask who I am, I would say Justin and Reese’s mom, Reese’s wife. I am team mom, I have that dog who is obsessed with tennis balls. I would like to be more. I am jealous of the women I know who have careers. I am glad I get to spend the extra time with the kids when they are not in school, but at some point, they are going to leave the nest and then I don’t even have that.
“There’s a place in the sun that she’s never been, where life is fair and time is a friend…would she do it the same as she did back then..”
Absolutely. I would not change a thing because, as I have said many times before, every road I have taken has led me here, and there is no place I would rather be. But where do I go from here..? Time isn’t always a friend and as we get older there is less of it…what if it runs out before I get that chance?